Of Year End Achievements and New Year Resolutions

The year end is just round the corner. Shopping malls are already playing jingle bell songs, and tall plastic christmas trees with empty boxes wrapped in colourful present papers underneath them decorate the concourse of these malls.

White frosty spray pens the wordings "Merry Xmas and Happy New Year" in many glass windows of boutique shops, beckoning shoppers to come in and have a ball buying new clothes.

It felt like the last Christmas was here not that long ago. Where has the time flew to?

Looking back this year, it is frightening to think that so much time has gone by, but so little may have changed from last year.

List of things that has changed, or that I have "achieved" this year are:

1) changed job roles to a non-accounting based one:
There is more to learn about the business in a Commercial role, more external parties to deal with, more challenge overall...yet, there is also more frustration, and more expectation-management to conquer.

2) met a very special guy:
It's been more than six months since we "bumped into each other". The times spent together have been both exhilarating and intense for the both of us. He believes that when you meet someone who complements you, you have met the right person. I believe that if you are meant for each other, things will fall in place eventually, creases will iron themselves out somehow.

We had a fantastic holiday in US recently. We learnt so much more about patience, tolerance, and forgiveness for each other. We also learnt how to gamble and be children all over again! It was a memorable one for me...

3) made some new friends:
It is so interesting to meet different people from different line of work such as engineers, contractors and commercial people. More often than not, it baffles me how different these people's way of thinking can be from an accountant. You'll start looking at your situations in angles you would never have thought of before!

4) hooked up with some old friends:
The latest craze of Facebook has indeed been useful in hooking up with long lost buddies, especially those who have uprooted themselves from Malaysia and now reside in the other parts of the globe. It's great to suddenly get mails in your inbox from close buddies whom you last spoke to 10-15 years ago.

5) travelled to Europe and US:
I had not planned to travel much this year, but as it turns out, I travelled to both Europe AND US this year. It was a great opportunity, one that opened my eyes and let me see the vast disparity between the two greatest nations.

There, 5 things I have done this year to enrich my life and the life of the people who are important to me.

New Year resolutions? For the moment, I have none in my drowsy head. Besides, New Year's resolutions never work for me anyway... I'll run off track somehow and will need to "revise the resolutions accordingly".

It's past midnight now , dreamland time... Falalalala-lala-la-la.

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to you!

Neo

It's been more than 3 months since I met my "last perfect gentleman" and got together.

I spent the last 2 weeks with him, and every single day was lovely...to see the person you love first thing in the morning, catching the train or driving to work in the morning together, sharing happy and stressful moments of work at the end of the day, going through good and not-so-good experiences with each other's support, spending spontaneous weekends in another state, or just lazing around watching Danny Crane's antics together.

We learnt a lot about each other during this time, both good and the not-so-good... we came out alive, a little scratched, but alive and well all the same.

He has taught me patience and understanding, and in return, I try to give love, care and attention.

I think I found my Neo...

I wonder...

It's raining out there now... I wonder what's the weather like where he is tonight.

It was a busy day at work for me today... I wonder how his day has been today.

I had good news today at work. I've been granted to go to Netherlands for training this October. If I manage to confirm a seat for myself, this will be my debut trip to Europe. The first thing I did was to tell him on the MSN... I wonder now if our holiday plans will materialise, since he might also be going to Houston for training in November.

I miss him so much everyday. He tells me he misses me to infinity, that there can be no more miss than what he miss... I wonder how long this distance between us will go on.

I love him more and more each day, every moment we spend together, the more we learn abt each other, the closer we become... I wonder if we will somehow triumph through this journey of challenges.

He is so far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am letting myself go with him, reckless but taking that leap of faith nevertheless... I wonder if he is too good to be true for me.

I wonder... I wonder

Fire!...in my heart

This is for my man:

The sun shone in my eyes. I could barely see anyone in the blazing sun while shading my eyes with my hand.

We were gathered at the assembly point in the carpark, during a fire alarm.

I moved to a shaded spot, and as I looked up, there he was standing not far away from me in his checkered short-sleeved shirt.


I gestured him over, and we struck up a conversation.

I had chanced upon this gentleman a few days ago, in the corridors of my workplace. Little did I know then, how significant a role he would be in my life soon.


He is the last perfect gentleman (as he so aptly puts it); sweet, kind, thoughtful and decent. Today, I am learning about the chapters of his life as the pages turn, and I want him to read the chapters of my life too.

In time, I hope we will be writing chapters of our own...

Mysteries of Life

5 years ago, I would have brushed off a younger guy’s advances like dandruff on the shoulders.

Today, however, I find myself considering the possibility…perhaps because, guys my age are either married, married with kid(s), or otherwise, unavailable.

A few younger guys have took notice of me since I came over to Miri, but it’s been light-hearted, chummy advances of which the attention I enjoyed. Until recently, none of them have managed to capture my attention the way they intended to but fortunately, in the end, these guys turned out to be reliable friends.

2 weeks ago, I met this presentable young gentleman, in the corridors of my office. I recently moved job roles, and as such, I was making several trips to move my stuff in boxes from my previous office on the 2nd floor to my new office room on the 3rd floor.

He bumped into me carrying my box on my last trip, and offered his help to carry it for me to my room. We connected in conversation immediately, and introduced ourselves. After I thanked him for his assistance, I then carried on with the days work.

2 days later, we bumped into each other again. This time, it was at the assembly point in the car park during the fire alarm (it was a real fire alarm, not a drill!). We chatted for almost 30 minutes before I left him in the car park, to join some colleagues who called me to join them to sneak out for an early lunch. After all, the red fire engine was still out there, trying to figure out what burnt, and no one knew how long that was going to take!

2 days after that, I received an email from him, asking me if I was the one he met recently. We “talked” on the email for awhile, and then he asked me out for coffee that evening, which I accepted and we spent a good 2 hours at CB. He is based in KL on project-based work, and was in Miri for 2 weeks on an offshore assignment.

That weekend, he even called me from the satellite phone when he was offshore.

For the rest of last week, he took every possible chance to ask me out for lunches, dinners and suppers, and every possible opportunity I had, I was game. During office hours, we MSN-ed and as a result, I was pretty inefficient in my work last week! It reminded me of the fun in the chase I experienced in my younger days.

He has been a perfect gentleman; sweet, kind, thoughtful and decent, and yes, he is younger than I am…a good 4 years too. In addition to that, I knew it was just too much to ask for a “simple” guy. There is no such thing as a simple guy today. With yet more chapters unrevealed, I will wait to see if I am meant to learn the many complicated chapters of his life.

It would be almost unwise to start anything between us, as it would be almost impossible to maintain it when we are living so far apart.

Tonight, he has flown off to London for a week for a course. Will we continue where we left off when he comes back? Or will things between us lose its momentum and cool off?

Geographically challenged, I am doubtful that anything fruitful will come out of this, as I feel that although there’s always Air Asia where “Everyone Can Fly”, to become main contributors to Air Asia’s revenue is hardly a real solution.

In spite of everything, I cherish the smile he has put on my face, and the warmth he has shown me in the last 2 weeks. His sense of humour captivates me, yet the mysterious chapters of his life uneases me.

But I thank him for showing me a wonderful time, and am glad that I had that chance to have met someone like him.

Playing with colours

Father figure... Happy father's day!

The end of a complicated day...

Nemo on Ice

Watching Disney real-life is like a child's dream come true...and so it was also my childhood's dream come true.

They played out the whole movie...the colours, the costumes, the props, the songs and the dance...it was mesmerising.

We bought matinee show tickets for seats at the side of the rink. Fortunately for us, the turnout for that show was only about 50%. The usherers were really nice and flexible. They allowed us to move to any empty seats we wanted to. So we chose the best seats available!

While we were there, we also managed to do a little shopping in Bandar and had a great lunch. For dinner, on our back in KB, nothing beats Escapade Sushi...nothing raw for me though. Once you have tried Escapade, no Japanese Restaurant in KL or Singapore come anywhere near it. Generous with the ingredients and portion of servings, it is lip-smacking and value for money.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, I was stopped by the police twice today. The first time, a regular road block and I was asked my drivers license. The second time, I was asked to pull over on the highway. My friends and I was thinking, drat! I must have violated the speed limit! Turned out that it wasn't related to speed limits at all. It was because my car's windscreen tint was not allowed in Brunei. It wasn't my first time driving my car there and it was never a problem previously. We managed to sweet talk our way out of any summons, but in exchange, promised to have our windows down (so no air-conditioning whenever we were near the city).

All in all, today was a truly interesting day.

Friendships aren't the way they used to make them

A friend is always there for you, standing by you in good and bad times.

A friend will extend a helping hand when you need it.

A shoulder to cry on, a pillar of strength when your life seems upside down.

A soulmate, someone to listen to your worries or complaints.

Wasn't it much simpler to believe all that when we were kids? Unconditional friendships that can last forever.

When you attain adulthood, there are so many factors to consider.

Friendships are no longer that simple... You need to tread carefully.

Else, a simple friendship can get complicated, a well-intentioned gesture can lead to perplexities.

Friendships just aren't the way they used to make them...

I am still alive!

It's been so long since I blogged. More than a month now.

Anyways, gotta keep this short. Don't have the time to blog so much at the moment.

Seeing numbers flying around me as I type this...maklumlah, major budget exercise going on.

But I am still alive & kickin', yay! AND I finally got my transfer officialised on 1 June, double yay!

Catch is, transfer form was signed by my boss in exchange for my signature on the confirmation form, haha.

That's ok, eventually I had to come to terms with my confirmation of employment. Also had to give my word that I will be stickin' around here for at least another 2 years...unless circumstances beyond my control change.

Hopefully, the new job keeps me happily on my toes, and that includes having a good boss and colleagues.

We'll see. Wish me luck!

Pinky Piggy Year

Kong Hei Fatt Choy! Xin Nien Kuai Lek!

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's a pink, pink piggy year this 2007. I like things piggy...I've even got a soft pink pig lying next to my radio in the car, accompanying me in my journeys on the road.

A friend, Kris, said my pig badly needs a bath, as he's been sitting there by my gearbox for at least 2 years :) She confirmed this when she sneezed continuously the moment she held up my pink piggy.

Nope, he hasnt had his bath, am too lazy. Besides, what if he fluffs up or wrinkle up after a bath. Then he'll look strange, and unpig-like...no, not taking chances.

It's been a good beginning so far. I think the Pig year will bring great opportunities, opportunities which I hope, will be both enjoyable and rewarding to dive into.

I had a great 2 weeks off for CNY this year. Longest CNY leave I've ever taken in my entire working life. It was nice to spend time with my beloved mother in Melaka. It's been a long time since I was able to spend so much time in my hometown Melaka. So much has changed in the last 10 years, progress and development has now changed sleepy-hollow Melaka town to congested Melaka city.

During the hot-hot CNY period, travelling in and around Melaka in my mother's 27-year old Honda with no air-conditioning was a real sauna experience. How did we ever manage to get around and about in our younger days in that car with no air-conditioning really baffles me. I think I lost at least 1kg of water weight each time I drove about in that Honda. One night, about 10pm, as my mother and I was cruising down the bridge on the Melaka highway in the Honda, it sputtered and sputtered, and then gave up on us. Thank goodness for Johnny, my mother's long time mechanic, and my cousins, who came to our rescue immediately.

Chap Goh Mei is in 2 days time (darn, no proper river here to throw mandarin oranges).

CNY came and is almost over soon. Before we know it, year 2007 will be near its end, and the pink piggy will oink away while his little friend, Jerry, will squeek in softly.

Oink-oink! Let's see what wonderful and exciting things our piggy friend has in store for everyone this year.

Rumours

Is there any company where people dont get involved in rumours?

So far, all the companies I have worked in "thrive" in rumour mongering. As if there isn't anything else that's more exciting.

One of my colleagues (an irritating one) asked me straight in my face today whether it's true that "someone" told him I will be transferring out to another department soon. He even knew which department! He did not even bother keeping it discreet and asked me loudly in front of another 2 colleagues.

Well, I had to tell a white lie...I denied it. To me, it's still not true because it's still not confirmed. I am supposed to apply for the job when it is posted for vacancy. The position is not even vacant yet!

Where do these people get their sources of rumours? It amazes me. And why do people bother wanting to "verify" something that had nothing to do with them?

Unfortunately, I think I lack practise in telling lies, white or otherwise. I dont think the 3 of them were convinced with my answer. Perhaps my surprised expression (I was very much caught off-guard), or my slightly shaky "no", gave me away? I just walked away, leaving them to ponder whether I was lie-ing or not.

Why do people enjoy spreading rumours? Is there nothing else exciting in their lifes, that they have to resort to rumour mongering to spice their life up? Don't they understand the meaning of "private & confidential"?

Blackmail...

Interview went well. Better than I had expected...I think. Actually, I don't really know...

So, I've been musing around....

My "current ex-boss", KK, was not as supportive of me taking on this new job, not as much as I had hoped. I was quite taken aback, from all that he said during the talk we had a few days before I went for the interview. Not that he didnt think I would be doing a good job out of Finance, but that I'll be getting limited exposure due to certain circumstances surrounding that job. As such, he thinks that I would not be able to carve my career path in that direction in the long term, and if I do return to Finance line, my years spent outside of Finance could work against me.

To a certain extend, I agreed with what he said, especially on the circumstances that surrounds the job which requires negotiation and persuasion skills...and yet, I cannot agree with him that I would not be able to maximise and use this exposure to my advantage in the long run. I am of the opinion that there are ways to work around those circumstances, and still play the cards to my favour.

Fortunately, my boss, Andy, supports me and thinks otherwise, that this exposure will be extremely useful to me later as I would be able to learn the mechanics of the O&G industry. This would be valuable knowledge, and together with sharpened negotiation skills, I would be able to give value-added advisory services which any O&G company will find useful.

I'll take my chances, whether the "game" I play turn out in my favour or otherwise in the end. Life is always a gamble anyway...but being an accountant, I'll make sure that I'll be taking "calculated" risks as much as possible.

The interviewer called KK up immediately after our interview. Apparently he was quite impressed by my background, and KK thought I was so "d*mn good at impressing" the guy...Of course, what KK meant was, that he thinks I "talked big" to the guy just to impress him. Actually, my interviewer merely asked me what kind of work I did when I was in UT and in the merchant bank, and whether I was involved in negotiations before. I explained what I did back then, and told him what negotiation deals I was engaged in and the specifics of the work involved. Nothing extraordinary.

KK had never asked me about my previous exposures, as he didnt care much about it. To KK, I am accountant, and the Accounting line best suits me. Never mind that I hate doing accounting work, because I am good at it. After working for KK for 8 months, he acknowledged to me, Andy and Mike (our Finance Director) that he was impressed at my steep learning curve and the in-depth knowlegde I have about SAP.

But he forgets (or rather, choose not to see) that I also have other skills and exposures not accounting related (although could be finance related), and this is where my interest lies. I truly believe that if we have a passion for something, we will learn very quickly about everything there is to it, and as a result, we'll do a great job on it, and hopefully, come out of it largely satisfied.

Finance in my company consists mainly of accounting and reporting work, 85- 90%. I try to spend about 10-15% of my time to perform system and process improvements to enhance accuracy and efficiency in our financial data and reporting, while developing and instilling in my staff the importance of understanding the end-to-end processes. I am fairly good at trouble-shooting because I always try to make sure I understand the principles behind the set-up, which not many people bother about.

However, that is not where my passion lies. I enjoy doing research and valuation work, looking for angles where approach can be used to maximise value for the company. Perhaps if I had not done corporate advisory work in a merchant bank before, I would very likely be quite happy doing what I do now.

Nonetheless, I am working towards trying to steer my boat in the right direction.

Sadly for Andy, since he came on board last month, several vacancies are in urgent need to be filled as the budgetting cycle will soon kick-off in March. As a result, Andy has tried to negotiate with me a "deal", where I need to help him out to fill another urgent vacancy for a couple of months. This will hold me back from my transfer for about another 6 months. I am not keen to help him out this time, because he has, on one too many occassions, thrown me into the choppy sea and expected me to swim out of it towing the boat behind me.

This is not a vacancy I would want to fill even if I was in dire need of a job to pay my house mortgage!

I'll have to figure out a diplomatic way of worming myself out of this one. I don't want to seem like I am ungrateful to him for helping me to get the transfer, and yet I don't want to get my hands dirty with the pile of garbage waiting in that position. I hope he doesn't "force" me to do it in exchange for that transfer...you know, like blackmail?

So, again, wish me luck so that I dont end up having to do another "rescue" job for Andy...at my expense and unhappiness.

Direction

It was in November 2006 when my 2nd quarterly probation form was due for completion to be signed and handed in to HR.

My boss had then wanted to confirm me in my employment although officially, the probation period for a new hire was 12 months. It was apparently, not uncommon that management would want to confirm a staff earlier than the 12-months timeline, unless that staff was exceptionally bad in his/her performance.

At that point, it dawned on me that I should also be thinking about my career direction. Up until now, I had gone along with the flow of things, unsure of where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do.

After 6 full months of managing a staff of 6, doing cost management accounting and reporting (50%), budgeting (30%), cost recovery advisory work (10%) and process improvements (10%), I find that I had benefited in many ways. I now understand the Production Sharing Contract (PSC) environment better, have a better feel of the cost and system setup in the SAP system, stumbled upon many faulty areas and fixed up about 80% of these (the 80-20 rule applies, good enough), trained my newly graduated staff in analytical skills, and fostered better relationship with the more veteran staff.

KK was the boss I worked for when I first came into this company. Andy, my ex-boss 5 years ago, is now my boss again effective Dec '06, as KK has been transferred out to do special projects and Andy has been transferred to take over KK's position. Both my bosses have been giving me positive feedback on my team's performance, and commented on the driving force behind my team's improvement.

However, almost 9 months has passed since I came over to Miri. Overall, work has not been particularly exciting for me, pretty mundane stuff although I managed to make a few improvements and changes here and there. I am, not surprisingly, already itching to look for something more challenging to work on. At the moment, the most challenging part is to try and get the people around me to co-operate to get results. While there are some who are eager to listen, contribute ideas and work together to make improvements, there are others who cannot seem to want to get out of the "old ways" of doing things, and worse still, many do not even know why they are doing things the way they have always been doing it!

My bosses tell me that I have to do some form of "expectation management" within myself, so that I may handle situations better, and be more patient with the responses I receive most times. True, I confess that expectation management is an area I very much need training on.

All these had played a role in my recent decision... to reject confirmation of my employment. I have never done so in my entire 10-years of employment history, rejecting early confirmation.

The way I saw it, why commit myself to the company when I cannot yet see the light at the end of the tunnel? Talking to both my bosses, KK and Andy, has not given any results. I had asked to know how long more I needed to be in my current job before I can move on to something more business-related, less accounting- and reporting-related. I had gotten wishy-washy responses, non-commital replies, that they will look for something which might suit me more "soon". When they asked what I was interested in, I was very specific in my respond (Investment Finance or Mergers & Acquisition team) but was disappointed again to be told that the job I am interested in is for "high level" people, so is therefore, currently out of my reach.

First, they tell me that they are "very impressed" by my steep learning curve, and my strong leadership qualities which lead to my team getting back their sense of direction, and that they are happy that I was able to make improvements especially in the system which, in some areas, had not been properly setup for the last few years, causing reporting hiccups and countless manual adjustments.

Then, they slap me with the anti-climax statement that I am "not ready" to be in the Investment Finance or Mergers & Acquisition team. I am "too young", I dont have enough industry knowledge and my CEP (Current Estimated Potential) points (an appraisal system currently practised) have to be assessed at "Senior Management" level before I can even think of being positioned in those teams.

Well, if I'm outstanding in the normal operational jobs, but yet, not good enough for the "high flying" jobs, is there anything else in between for me, to earn that "mature credibility" and "industry knowledge" they are looking for, to move on up?

They could not give me an answer...instead they asked me in return what other jobs I may be interested in (more "realistic" jobs).

Last week, I finally decided to go and have a chat with my Finance Director, Mike T, to find out what other kind of jobs there are in the group of companies globally. He told me a few, which sounded relatively more interesting than the usual accounting and reporting jobs, but ended by saying that, again, I am "too young" and do not have enough industry knowledge. I left his room feeling more down than before.

I have, hence, decided to continue to look for more suitable jobs elsewhere while "serving my time" here for as long as it takes. In the meantime, I shall make the best of my situation and get the most out of my experiences.

Seeing my lack of enthusiasm in the career track the company offered, my sudden chat with the Finance Director, and my hush-hush phone conversations outside my office grounds (KK and Andy happened to stumble upon my secret rendezvous), Andy and KK has quickly reacted to recommend me for an upcoming job opening, which I acknowledged interest in.

I am due for an interview sometime soon, so I may find out about the job scope. I hope this job can offer me that in-depth industry knowledge I look for, so that it''ll be beneficial for me in ANY oil & gas company... and I hope that accounting and reporting functions will only form a minor part of the job scope, if at all.

I am supposed to keep this confidential until the matter is settled. So wish me luck in my upcoming interview! Hopefully I make it through with flying colours. Otherwise, it's back to my mundane management accounting role!