After the upsetting episode with my boss last Tuesday with regards to his initial refusal to agree to my early release request, he is still not on speaking terms with me today, although he has subsequently changed his mind and agreed to release me after I kicked up a fuss.
Perhaps it is that I kicked up a fuss and insisted that I needed that 1 month's notice period and nothing longer (and that I had clarified with my HR Manager about my rights to exercise the option of paying off the company salary in lieu of notice), that had caused him to refuse speaking to me....I had "dropped his water face" ("jatuhkan air muka"-meaning damaged his ego).
You see, I kind of lost all my respect for him the moment he was utterly rude to me by making the remark that "it was my problem and not his" that I wouldn't have enough time to sort my things out if I didn't get release within 1 month's time. Yes, astonishingly rude, I had thought.
He even had the cheek to add that it was my problem also because I didn't check with him first on the best date to start on the other side!
Yes, we had mutual respect when it came to our professional relationship, but it never occured to me that it had extended to my personal life, that I had to check with him on the commencement date to start my job elsewhere. I went on the grounds that as long as I gave "reasonable" notice period of 1 month, there should not be any issue.
Last Friday morning at 7.50am, as I was driving to work, I received a call from the SAP Project Manager, Chu. Apparently, he had received news of my resignation, and had called to wish me all the best, and to tell me that he appreciated my support and consistency in carrying out a job well done during the 6-months SAP implementation project last year.
Chu is a man of patience, and one who can always see the positive aspect of things, no matter what the situation. He makes a skillful project manager, always able to look after that tender ego of everyone, and then to pull everyone onto neutral grounds for less heated discussions to come to a mutual agreement.
He advised me to try and mend the bridge with my boss, to put behind me whatever words had been exchanged by my boss.
Indeed, I had never experienced such childish reaction from my previous bosses before, and the words he said to me was uncalled for and plain rude. But Chu had a point...my boss had total faith in me to let me lead the project team almost single-handedly, and then he rewarded me with a promotion. This promotion was one which I had indicated to him I expected, or I will not take up the offer to lead the new team set-up to run the SAP system.
Now, my boss probably feels the "world" will think that his key staff had betrayed him, after all that he has done for me. Although he himself has resigned and is tentatively leaving in June this year, my earlier departure had made him look bad.
Even though my boss had thrown careless remarks a few times, asking me to look for a job elsewhere (for whatever unexplainable reasons), Chu thought that that was a small flaw in my boss. He may say things he does not mean because he has a temperamental character.
Now, my boss probably feels the "world" will think that his key staff had betrayed him, after all that he has done for me. Although he himself has resigned and is tentatively leaving in June this year, my earlier departure had made him look bad.
Even though my boss had thrown careless remarks a few times, asking me to look for a job elsewhere (for whatever unexplainable reasons), Chu thought that that was a small flaw in my boss. He may say things he does not mean because he has a temperamental character.
Both my future boss and Chu, the SAP Project Manager, feels that I should put my feelings of hurt behind, and try to patch things up with my boss before I leave.
I might try to ask him out to lunch some time next week, but I don't know yet for sure if I will do it.
I always thought it most important NOT to burn the bridge when you leave a company, as the corporate world is a small place. But when you are faced with a temperamental boss like mine, even if I tried to mend things between us, he might just end up taking the pie and splatting it right into my face!
So, how important is it to try and mend the burnt bridge? THIS particular burnt bridge.
You tell me...
6 comments:
I think that B needs some 'space' after feeling disappointed that you are leaving. Take it that he really did appreciate you but really is quite an idiot for not being able to behave professionally.
Try again later.. much later
My last day here is next Friday.
I'll try and gather enough courage to ask him out to lunch next week, Mon or Tues.
If I can't convince myself it's a worthy effort, I won't do it.
I have a strong feeling he'll say he's got other apmts, so not able to have lunch with me...we'll see lar.
You know ah.
There is professionalism.
And there is lack of confidence in believing in your actions.
There appears to be confusion of the two very different ideas.
You have DONE NOTHING WRONG. You have not argued with him, or shown black face or thrown things around.
You have done the procedure by the book. Yet, it seems like you are subconciously feeling bad for doing things correctly...????!!!
My god, what you did is not considered kicking up a fuss.
The factor that makes things professional, is the ability to not let EMOTIONS cloud the issue.
Why does his childish behaviour make YOU feel the need to come up with justification for his bad behaviour (maybe I kicked up a fuss, caused him to lose face)?
I have never heard of following procedure being considered kicking up a fuss.
If you have no respect for him, you should NOT take him out for lunch. People who don't take their ex bosses out for lunch still manage to "leave on good terms".
This, is how I would handle it. From the day I get confirmation of my last day, I would popped my head thru his door and said thanks for letting me go early. If that's not possible, write an email saying thanks and assuring that what what and what will be done before you go.
A day or so before the last day, I'd again try to see him and say thanks for everything, it's a pity things didn't work out, perhaps we might get another chance to work togeher next time. etc.
There. Done.
To answer your question...I don't think it's necessary to mend the bridge when I'm not at fault and the bridge was actually burned by the other party. I on my part will conciliatory words, but I won't go out of my way.
Cis. So many typos.
"I on my part will offer conciliatory words, but I won't go out of my way."
My bangsar job...I pretty much told my boss...you suck, and I'm not putting up with it. Not in such literal words. Of course she got VERY defensive.
I left it for a few days, then went to see her again and said "At the end of the day, maybe it's just me..I don't have the temperament to do this kind of work in this kind of way. So with this attitude, I'm no use to you."
That allowed her to save face, and it's not a lie on my part...i just repackaged it. The firm had a farewell for me but I didn't even go..making up some lame excuse.
But you know what? There is still so much goodwill.
There are bigger battles in life. Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things either. :)
hmm.. i'm so lack in all these..
Spot, I understand where you come from. I know that I played by the rules, and therefore, he need not be "emotional" about the matter.
But people are always emotional about certain things in their lifes. Could be their family, their work, or anything at all.
So I will do my part to try and reconcile with him before I leave. If he brushes it off, then it is his choice.
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