This afternoon, I had lunch with a very old friend. The last time we met was for lunch about 4 months ago.
I "dated" this guy back in my young audit days, during my first job. "Dated" in inverted because I am not sure if I could call it that. I was young and naive then...I'm still young, not as naive, but would like to claim that I am still innocent (*hehehe*).
Anyhow, he was my colleague (office romance, yikes!), so we had to keep it really hush-hush for fear of starting a raging rumour, which could be really damaging for both of us. So, it went that we dated mostly during weekends, and sometimes had dinner together on weekdays when we bumped into each other in the office (2nd shift after leaving clients' place!). As I did not have my own transport then, if he was at a client's place not too far away from where I was, he would give me a lift home too.
Sms between the different service providers were unheard of at that time (I was using 017, still am, and he 012, still is). Instead, we had long daily email exchanges whenever we were out on different jobs. I remember how eager I was to plug-in and dail up back to the office's mail server each day, anticipating an email from him.
On top of that, we had frequent intranet messaging whenever we were both back in the office. The audit department was huge, so it was always difficult to know who was in, and who was out. We didn't even know the names of half of our colleagues! Whenever he was in the office, he never failed to look me up in the neighbourhood network, and we would be "chatting" away secretly (and he could be sitting in the next cubicle to me!).
During the course of all the above, we talked, laughed, debated, argued or just enjoyed each other's company in silence. He, however, made no gesture to indicate that he was interested in me "that" way.
Silly me, isnt it? If he wasn't, he wouldn't be spending so much time with me, duh!
After "dating" him for about 4 months, he surprised me by buying me a soft toy for Christmas (not that I celebrate Christmas, or liked soft toys very much)...hmm, now where did I keep that toy? I know from his friends, and he told me himself, that he had never done that before, but he just wanted me to have it (the toy).
I found him to be a very complicated man at that time. He is about 5-6 years my senior in age, and had had a difficult path working his way to get a university degree. He worked for a few years right after finishing school to save up money, before he could enrol himself in a local university for an accounting degree. I admired his perseverance and sense of dedication when he had set his mind to achieve something. I liked the confident way he carried himself, the mature way he reacted to solve problems or issues at hand.
And yet, I could not understand that other side of him, how he painstakingly analysed situations in so minute detail, how he came to conclusions of his own based on that analysis, and how he stubbornly stands firm to his conclusions, whatever else you might say about it.
When we were dating, he was already into his 30s, so he had seen so much more of life than I had. I tried to understand his unwillingness to talk about certain things, but I couldn't. Perhaps I was not mature enough to comprehend what was going on in his mind, and so I drifted away from him. Or perhaps, we were just not meant to be...
I "dated" this guy back in my young audit days, during my first job. "Dated" in inverted because I am not sure if I could call it that. I was young and naive then...I'm still young, not as naive, but would like to claim that I am still innocent (*hehehe*).
Anyhow, he was my colleague (office romance, yikes!), so we had to keep it really hush-hush for fear of starting a raging rumour, which could be really damaging for both of us. So, it went that we dated mostly during weekends, and sometimes had dinner together on weekdays when we bumped into each other in the office (2nd shift after leaving clients' place!). As I did not have my own transport then, if he was at a client's place not too far away from where I was, he would give me a lift home too.
Sms between the different service providers were unheard of at that time (I was using 017, still am, and he 012, still is). Instead, we had long daily email exchanges whenever we were out on different jobs. I remember how eager I was to plug-in and dail up back to the office's mail server each day, anticipating an email from him.
On top of that, we had frequent intranet messaging whenever we were both back in the office. The audit department was huge, so it was always difficult to know who was in, and who was out. We didn't even know the names of half of our colleagues! Whenever he was in the office, he never failed to look me up in the neighbourhood network, and we would be "chatting" away secretly (and he could be sitting in the next cubicle to me!).
During the course of all the above, we talked, laughed, debated, argued or just enjoyed each other's company in silence. He, however, made no gesture to indicate that he was interested in me "that" way.
Silly me, isnt it? If he wasn't, he wouldn't be spending so much time with me, duh!
After "dating" him for about 4 months, he surprised me by buying me a soft toy for Christmas (not that I celebrate Christmas, or liked soft toys very much)...hmm, now where did I keep that toy? I know from his friends, and he told me himself, that he had never done that before, but he just wanted me to have it (the toy).
I found him to be a very complicated man at that time. He is about 5-6 years my senior in age, and had had a difficult path working his way to get a university degree. He worked for a few years right after finishing school to save up money, before he could enrol himself in a local university for an accounting degree. I admired his perseverance and sense of dedication when he had set his mind to achieve something. I liked the confident way he carried himself, the mature way he reacted to solve problems or issues at hand.
And yet, I could not understand that other side of him, how he painstakingly analysed situations in so minute detail, how he came to conclusions of his own based on that analysis, and how he stubbornly stands firm to his conclusions, whatever else you might say about it.
When we were dating, he was already into his 30s, so he had seen so much more of life than I had. I tried to understand his unwillingness to talk about certain things, but I couldn't. Perhaps I was not mature enough to comprehend what was going on in his mind, and so I drifted away from him. Or perhaps, we were just not meant to be...
For a few months after that, I did not hear from him much. When I did, his voice was cold, and he distanced himself. I asked that we put that episode behind us, and it was several months later that we became friends once again.
Thereafter, he proved to be a wonderful friend. He was there for me when I cried about work stress, he provided a shoulder to lean on when I needed to complaint about things, and he was also there for me when I just needed company to go watch a movie or shop for something.
He was even there in a jiffy when I called him one late night after work, right after my car spun one and a half times on the road when it skidded in the heavy rain. My knees were like jelly, and I could not possibly get myself home. He kept calling me on the phone on his way there to reassure me, and he took me home safely...in my car (which miraculously, only had a scratch and dent on the bumper, phew!). Then he took a cab back to where he had parked his car...such a sweet, sweet guy.
Presently, he has this teacher girlfriend for almost 3 years. He still isn't marrying her yet, "no fixed date" he said this afternoon. But we have grown out of each other now, and I can see how our relationship has changed from one of young attraction, to pure and strong frienship. We've seen the best and the worst of each other, but our friendship has remained strong although we see each other about 3 or 4 times in a year only. Now that I will be moving to Miri, I would be lucky if I could meet him once a year.
This is one of my dating games I will always remember with a smile, and a warm, fuzzy feeling in the depths of my memory.
6 comments:
Ai! I just know what you mean... I had it with a guy in campus but that fizzled out after he got married and I got married. Now, even seated a few feet from each other, we got nothing to say... must have only been fleeting!
Say.. write more.. you do say most interesting stuff
Ahaha, I know which guy in campus u mean ;) Indeed, u didn't say very much to him the other day.
For me, this guy will be my eternal friend...somehow, we always have something to say to each other. We still email each other now & then. He expresses himself better in emails...maybe it's a guy thing :)
Oh, and by the way, thanks for the compliment (abt my writing).
I write what about I feel, think or experience. Free flow of words, no worries about editing or grammatical mistakes! So nice, it's not the same with writing for the papers though...but then, the papers pay, my blog doesnt :)
I think I will let that sleeping dog lie. The friendship cannot continue as I know he is the type that cannot have any girlfriends albeit platonic outside of marriage.
Oh I remember this one. You both will sit at your PCs and beat around the bush. :)
I recall you sendig us extracts of some email conversations and I thought to myself, that bush is being flattened by an elephant and yet they still dowan to come out and say...
...I like you lah.
Heh.
And oh ya. Snowie and I quite enjoy reading your blog. :)
Spot, Ahaha, yea, I know. I think u told me before that an elephant has stomped the bush flat, but we still not "saying it" aloud...maybe we were not meant to be lor :o/
Really? u both do? :) Thanks!
Coming from such a great writer, that's a v nice compliment. I enjoy reading your blog too, very much...always thought u had a great flair for words! So dunno why u need to go to creative writing classes...really.
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